Dec09
Posted on Dec 9 by Ruth Davis
Happy December! This time of the year is all about the light. Chanukah is called the Festival of Lights, with eight nights of candle lighting to commemorate the miracle of the oil. Kwanzaa is celebrated by lighting seven candles to represent the seven principles. Houses and trees are decked in holiday lights. And Jesus was born under the light of the star of Bethlehem. Everywhere you look, there are candles and fires, beckoning us toward the light and the warmth. But in nature, this is the darkest time of the year. This offers us a beautiful invitation to go inward to tend our own light. If we’re feeling confident, creative, appreciated, it’s pretty easy to tap into our own glowing goodness. We radiate love and compassion, for ourselves and others. And our shining light reflects back to other people, creating an even bigger light. But what about when sadness, grief, frustration, even hopelessness, overwhelm us, and we feel no light. Even if your light is not roaring in radiant flame, it is still burning. It...
Mar26
Posted on Mar 26 by Ruth Davis
It’a already March, and the first full day of Spring is just two weeks away. I’m usually full of inspiration and excitement this time of year, but today, I’m still feeling the subtleties of winter hibernation. The Heart Sparks Rest and Renewal Retreat was everything I imagined and so much more. We laughed, we lounged, we shared, we made art, and each retreater fell a little more in love with herself. The week before the retreat, it snowed in Sedona. The freeway was closed just north of the exit to Sedona, and more snow was forecasted for the retreat weekend. With all of the planning I had done, everything was now up in the air. Would the roads be closed on the way up? Would we get snowed in once we got there? Would I have to cancel the retreat and refund everyone’s money? The day before the retreat, four of us decided to caravan in the morning, so that, if we did have to turn around, we’d all be together. That night, all I...
Feb09
Posted on Feb 9 by Ruth Davis
I hope your new year is off to a healthy and happy start. My January was filled with wellness exams, lunches with friends, Mac clients, romps at various neighborhood parks, a speeding ticket followed by online defensive driving school, new glasses, an unexpected new computer, and the official filing of the divorce papers. Reading through the legal paperwork, I was surprised by all of the emotions I felt, and it took me a few days to move through the new layers of grief and loss. And for the first time I allowed myself to be angry that I had to choose to give up a lifestyle that I really loved. It’s been so empowering to watch myself move through each emotion as it arises, noticing that I’m feeling all the feelings, but not lingering in any one emotion or memory. I’ve been able to tender myself, talk about my feelings, and give myself full on permission and safety to feel it all. I’ve also been consciously and actively shifting my focus to welcoming more joy into...
Jan01
Posted on Jan 1 by Ruth Davis
“And now we welcome the new year, full of things that have never been.” Rainer Maria Rilke Happy New Year! Do you have a ritual for beginning the new year? Maybe you eat black eyed peas for good luck, or spend time with the people you’d like to see throughout the coming year. Maybe you watch the Rose Parade in your pajamas, or take a walk in nature. Some of us choose a theme for the year, or set goals, or make a list of places we’d like to visit. In the past I have chosen a word for the year, to help me focus my attention on my deepest intention. One year, I wrote a manifesto, declaring the qualities and attributes that I wanted to claim more of. When I was living on the road, the visions for the year were more about where we wanted to explore, and what kind of volunteering sounded interesting. This year I am using the Heart Sparks cards to guide me. In December I picked two cards, one to guide me for...
Dec21
Posted on Dec 21 by Ruth Davis
Happy Winter Solstice! This time of the year is all about the light. Chanukah is called the Festival of Lights, with eight nights of candle lighting to commemorate the miracle of the oil. Kwanzaa is celebrated by lighting seven candles to represent the seven principles. Houses and trees are decked in holiday lights. And Jesus was born under the light of the star of Bethlehem. Everywhere you look, there are candles and fires, beckoning us toward the light and the warmth. But in nature, this is the darkest time of the year. Which offers us a beautiful invitation to go inward to tend our own light. If we’re feeling confident, creative, appreciated, it’s pretty easy to tap into our own glowing goodness. We radiate love and compassion, for ourselves and others. And our shining light reflects on another person, creating an even bigger light. But what about when sadness, grief, frustration, even hopelessness, overwhelm us, and we feel no light. Even if your light is not roaring in radiant flame, it is still burning. It may be just...
Dec09
Posted on Dec 9 by Ruth Davis
I’ve been doing some deep grief work this past month. I didn’t even realize it at first. Three weeks ago I pulled an intercostal muscle under my right breast that went all the way around my back. It was painful to raise my arm, and it especially hurt when I coughed or sneezed. Driving and steering exacerbated it, so I mostly stayed home, resting, and icing. And then a friend came for an overnight visit. When Marika and I split up, I didn’t share the specifics and details of why it got so bad that I chose to leave. Not even with my closest friends. Because they know Marika and it didn’t seem right. But my visiting friend didn’t know Marika, and so I opened up about some of those details. Which brought back feelings of shame, and hurt, and sadness, and more shame for keeping it all to myself. And it also tapped into that deeper trauma layer, when I was six and my brother Lenny died. My parents were so lost in their own grief, and my...
